Summary
From comedian and journalist Faith Salie, of NPR's Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! and CBS News Sunday Morning , a collection of daring, funny essays chronicling the author's adventures during her lifelong quest for approval
Faith Salie has done it all in the name of validation. Whether she's trying to impress her parents with a perfect GPA, undergoing an exorcism to save her toxic marriage, or baking a 3D excavator cake for her son's birthday, Salie is the ultimate approval seeker--an "approval junkie, " if you will.
In this collection of daring, honest essays, Salie shares stories from her lifelong quest for gold stars, recounting her strategy for winning (very Southern) high school beauty pageant; her struggle to pick the perfect outfit to wear to her divorce; and her difficulty falling in love again, and then conceiving, in the years following her mother's death.
With thoughtful irreverence, Salie reflects on why she tries so hard to please others, and herself, highlighting a phenomenon that many people--especially women--experience at home and in the workplace. Equal parts laugh-out loud funny and poignant, Approval Junkie is one woman's journey to realizing that seeking approval from others is more than just getting them to like you--it's challenging yourself to achieve, and survive, more than you ever thought you could.
Booklist Review
Those wise enough to pick up this collection of essays are about to find their newest best friend in Salie. Sharing intensely personal information lightened with touches of humor and an appreciation for the absurdities of life, the author chronicles her first unsuccessful marriage, her second, very happy marriage, her body-image issues, and her often-changing career path. Readers may recognize pieces of their own lives in the challenges and joys of her journey and will undoubtedly find even more to emotionally connect with in Salie's awkward and endearing experiences. Plan on reading this once for entertainment, or better, twice for the life lessons available. Not content with being a Rhodes scholar, this brilliant, funny woman has a resumé that includes multiple listings as a guest commentator on political and pop-culture television shows in the U.S. and England, her own National Public Radio show, Fair Game from PRI with Faith Salie, regular appearances as a panelist on NPR's Wait Wait . . . Don't Tell Me!, and a variety of acting credits.--Hayman, Stacey Copyright 2016 Booklist
Excerpts
I totally saw the proposal coming, because, well, it was simply time. We'd talked about getting married, explicitly and erosively, for so long that it wasn't worth talking about anymore. We'd been dating for five years, which is also known as a "lustrum." But even that rococo word doesn't romanticize that half a decade is a long time to wait, and everyone in our lives was sick of it. There was an unspoken feeling of Let's get this over with, so we can see if it will make things better . Please buckle up, because here comes some caps lock: YES I TOTALLY KNOW THAT GETTING MARRIED IS NEVER THE WAY TO FIX A CRAPPY RELATIONSHIP BUT I ALSO KNOW I SHOULD FLOSS MY TEETH EVERY DAY BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH THANKS. I really didn't think it would happen this one particular afternoon. This explains why I had no makeup on and had decked myself out in an Old Navy shirt, comfy jeans, and boots that supplied no flattering heel height. The wasband had gone into the Lighthouse Museum, because his great-grandfather or someone had had something to do with the building of the village lighthouse. I was exhausted (from anticipation) so I stayed in the rental car, reclined my seat, and napped. He woke me up with a knock on the window and an enthusiastic grin. "You've got to see this view!" If you've watched Braveheart , you know that Scotland doesn't really give a shite that it's late May or that you're about to get proposed to, so it was wildly windy and chilly. My hair was flying everywhere. Poised on the precipice, we admired the vibrant indigo of the North Sea and the wasband's cultural provenance. When he told me to sit on the lone bench surrounded by wildflowers, I knew. His fist was clenched, and he began to kneel. My heart started beating faster. I shook my head. "Oh my God . . . no. Stop." That is what I said. Something deep inside me, beyond ego and beyond heart, knew this thing for which I'd been yearning wasn't what was best for us. He paused midkneel, his blue-gray eyes full of hurt. Uncharacteristically, transparently, vulnerably surprised and hurt. I'd never seen that look on his face before, and I would never see it again. It lasted maybe "one Mississippi, two Mississippi," and I couldn't bear it. "Go ahead," I said. "I'm sorry, go ahead." He knelt down and asked me to marry him. He kept it simple. Perhaps that was a bold choice suggestive of a rebirth of our relationship, or maybe it was head-in-sandy not to acknowledge how rough our journey to this moment had been. Or, quite likely, I wasn't much of a muse after ordering him to stop proposing. When he asked, "Will you marry me?," I looked at him through my shades, coolly. His question, like his first "I love you," created such a panoply of emotions that the best course seemed to be to try to keep my face neutral. I didn't smile or cry or gasp. I waited a few moments, my heart beating out of my chest, while I tried to relish the return of that ephemeral taste of power. The man I deeply loved and resented, in whom I'd deeply invested, was on one knee, asking me the question I'd longed to hear since our first date. It was, in theory, the ultimate gesture of approval, but it didn't feel that way. It was too hard-earned, and that made me feel hollow. The Scottish winds carried any "power" I had out to sea. I said only, "Yes," quietly, because I wanted to. I wanted to marry him. You don't have to believe in karma to understand this: he and I were meant to be, well, not meant to be. We had to live through the first part to realize the last part. I couldn't wear his grandmother's ring, because it was too small. Way to feel fat at your betrothal. Excerpted from Approval Junkie by Faith Salie All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.